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Thursday, August 30, 2007

5. Hollywood, An Attainable Utopia!!!

Wouldn’t it be great if you had the power to create a world that matched your political beliefs? Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t have to worry about which political party won the next election, that everything you believed could be implemented right now? For all of the money the Hollywood power brokers spend each year to get their liberal candidates elected (or not elected) why don’t they just turn Hollywood into a mini-socialist state? Their budgets exceed those of small countries. They don’t need to wait for legislation. They don’t need to wait for Hillary in the White House. They can do it right now!! They can live their liberal dream. They can show the entire world that they are right and we conservatives are wrong.

So, how could Hollywood transform itself into a socialist mini-state? Actually, it wouldn’t be that difficult. Let’s look at this point by point.

1. Create one “Mega-Studio.” Let’s call our new studio Utopia Studios (US). The left has made it clear that competition leads to corporate greed so US will be structured as follows:
  • US will recognize all employee-members (EM) as equal.
  • US will be owned equally by all EMs of the studio. No one person will have controlling ownership.
  • Each member-employee will have one vote.

2. Unions. EMs will be unionized – workers versus management (but all employees are equal). Unions will be able to strike at any time for any reason. After all, it is their right. All movies will be made at US. Movies now filmed or post-produced in Canada or other foreign countries to avoid union wages will be eliminated.

3. Benefits. Health care will be granted to all employees through the US health benefit plan. This plan will be set up to mirror HillaryCare – the left’s health care plan of choice. EMs may only see doctors within the plan. Any member seeing a doctor outside of the plan will be immediately terminated from US.

4. Free Labor. Unlike current studios, US will not use free labor under the guise of “paying their dues.” Currently actors and those trying to get into other aspects of the industry often work for nothing trying to establish a foothold or make necessary connections. Within the industry, this is called “paying your dues.” This forced or slave labor practice will be eliminated.

5. Economic democracy. US will have a strict distribution of wealth policy. Of the 100,000 members of the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), the average income is less than $5,000 a year (source: With leftist stars commanding over $10 million a movie it seems the rich in Hollywood are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. According to the New York Daily News, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, and Will Smith all command $25 million per picture. Under US, if each of those six stars made only one movie a year, US would fairly and equitably distribute their $150 million fees between the 100,000 new US EMs so each would receive $1,500.

6. Diversity. US will ensure that Asians, Latins, Blacks, Native Americans, Muslims, Hindus, etc. will be equitably (based on United States census numbers) represented in all aspects of acting and film making. In looking at the website under the “Coming Soon” heading I checked the first 10 films due to open. In all cases but one, the stars were white – only one minority was represented in a starring role. This is obviously racism and WILL NOT BE TOLERATED (Bill Clinton-style fist-hitting-the-podium emphasis added).

7. Poverty. There will be no poverty or homelessness at US. US will provide for EMs regardless of their talent and marketability. As one leftist told me, “Any country that cannot provide for its people is a failure.” There will be no such failure at US.
Inheritance tax – When EMs die any remaining money will be brought back into US to either distribute among all other EMs or to finance movie ventures.

8. Education. US will provide education by a diverse mix of teachers. Private schooling of children of EMs will not be permitted. After all, school choice (such as vouchers) only weakens the school system.

9. Global Warming. This is probably the most important issue US will face. Leonardo DiCaprio will head the “Carbon Neutral” division of US. High rise housing will be built on the US lot. Apartments will be no larger than 1,500 square feet. Since many Hollywood types will be forgoing their 10,000 to 50,000 square feet homes, a tremendous amount of energy will be saved in heating and cooling. Since the apartment complex is on the US lot, SUVs, limousines, and private planes will not be needed. Anyone owning or using one will immediately be terminated. Bicycles will be available to all EMs. For those needing to leave the US complex, shuttles and hybrid cars will be available on a first come, first serve basis.

10. Immigration. With such a utopian community, one so heavily blessed by God, it is completely understandable that hard working souls seeking a better life will want to also become an EM. EMs with full voting privileges and the desire to share in the bounty that is US. Anyone at anytime and with no restrictions of any kind can become an EM and share in its riches. Any other attitude is morally wrong.

So – how likely is this to happen? How likely is Barbra Streisand to give up her mansions in Holmby Hills and Malibu? About zero. For all the talk of the Hollywood left you would think that they would do something within their own community. But they do none of these things. But it isn’t their fault. It’s the fault of those mean, nasty, greedy conservatives. That’s why there are so many social problems in this world. Isn’t it?

New York City is often referred to as “The Last Bastion of Liberalism.” Yet, NYC has one of the worst homeless problems in the country. Why don’t they just address that one simple problem? They could build more homeless shelters and feed those people. What you say? Not enough money – no problem, with the average apartment in NYC now worth $1.2 million they could easily raise property taxes and cover the cost. At $1.2 million an apartment we certainly aren’t talking about taxing the poor here. They’d be taxing those that are rich and greedy and don’t want to share. But does that “Bastion of Liberalism” do that? No, they blame Ronald Reagan, George Bush, George W. Bush, Newt Gingrich, and all those other, evil, repugnant, reptilian conservatives that Julia Roberts loves to hate so much. Here, it is within their power to change things and instead they do nothing but bitch and complain.

But, like every liberal I’ve ever met, they don’t. The liberal ideal is just that – it’s an ideal, an ideal for someone else to implement, someone else to live under. Hollywood wants to talk liberalism and live capitalism. They want someone else to be the practicing social liberals.

Yep – when I meet a liberal that lives the life that he or she wants to impose on me through legislation, I’ll take him seriously. But, I’m not worried, because it will never happen.

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